Ferris Wheel

The fair ride most used in analogies is the roller coaster. But I'm choosing the ferris wheel. Ups and downs without forward progress.... then ending back where you started, at the bottom...
Have you read many descriptions about the view from the bottom of a ferris wheel? That's where my ride was last week so the view looked something like this....
She must have been about 3 or 4 and she lay whimpering on the stretcher beside a mother sitting with her infant in her arms. Blisters from second degree burns covered her buttocks and legs. She shared a lollypop with some flies. Alone, she would briefly doze then wake up crying. Her crying stopped when I rubbed her back.
Systems change, capacity building are part of the view from the top of the ferris wheel with Trauma Registry, pediatric resuscitation trolley, triage system, bedside ultrasound, emergency nurse training, Primary Trauma Care Course all in the works. Setbacks, delays and barriers frustratingly abound. Nothing has changed.
You always get off the ferris wheel at the bottom, don't you?

Per chance

He was sitting outside the casualty ward office. We exchanged some polite swahili greetings. He asked in English if I was a Father, not the first time I'd been asked the same question. "Not in the way you ask, " I replied.
So we talked for a little while. He was there to get steroids injected into overactive scar tissue on his chest wall suffered in an unspecified injury. He said the injections were helping.
He is in Mwanza on scholarship to university studying sociology. This education is to help him in his work in the community with refugees from Burundi, Rwanda and the DRC.
Turns out I reminded him of an Englishman who worked an office near his home village. When I shared that I was actually from the U.S, he said he'd visited Orlando.
He said how real some of the creations in Disneyworld seemed. This after inviting me to the park near his village where work is conducted with chimpanzees.
He was in Orlando to attend some kind of global conference of young people that do refugee work. His intention is to work for Peace.
Today he gave me some hope.

Why

A small roach scampered from beneath the laryngoscope blade as I lifted it from the box to place on its handle. It was symbolic of the futility of my efforts to follow.
A 6month old baby had stopped breathing. This following a 5 day illness during which he was treated at a dispensary and brought today to our hospital weakened from his struggle.
Why did this baby die?
Was it because his Mother was poor?
Was it because he was born in one place, not another?
Was something misdiagnosed or inadequately treated early in his illness?
Was it because he had an overwhelming pneumonia with poor defenses to disease?
Was it because I couldn't get a tube in his trachea?
We talk about the burden of disease. What about the burden of sadness?

Big Splash

Growing up my brothers and I would compete to see who could make the biggest splash jumping into the pool. I never won.
As mentioned in my last posting, I succeeded in getting nothing accomplished in my first three months in Mwanza. Making a difference, making a measurable difference...is that what it is all about? A big splash makes a difference but once the ripples die away, the pool, perhaps short a small volume of water remains the same.
This visit I brought two vital sign monitors purchased with the generous donation of funds from my home church, Davidson College Presbyterian Church. We've put the monitors to immediate use at the triage station and in the wards of the casualty department.
Today another woman with white eyelids and abdominal pain was rolled in on a stretcher. The new monitor revealed her blood pressure to be 85/49 and her heart rate was 140. She was cool to the touch and her abdomen was tender. In a previous posting I shared a similar case that turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. Today was a virtually identical experience as I squeezed in the only unit of O positive blood in the hospital and waited for her to get to theatre. After she was gone I walked around the ward with a nurse from Kenya on her first day in casualty and we used the new monitor to take the women patient's vital signs.
A woman who moaned quietly as the drama of the first patient unfolded shared with the nurse that she might be pregnant. The machine reported her blood pressure as 105/79 and her heart rate was 107.
She got up to provide a urine sample ordered by the gynecology intern and passed out.
We repeated the same interventions for this quiet woman who also had an ectopic pregnancy.
These new monitors will accomplish nothing that could not have been accomplished without them. Nurses taking vital signs and a history on the patient's arrival is a process that requires no more than mercury manometers which are present but in short supply.
The question whose answer disturbs me is: When these monitors no longer work and the big splash(ok, small splash) and ripples have subsided, will the pool short of a small amount of water remain the same?

Mission Accomplished

The first three months are about to come to a close. I head home for a few months and then return to Tanzania in January.

Angus O'Shea, the executive director of the Touch Foundation gave me the following piece of advice after my arrival in Mwanza.

"Try real hard not to get anything done in the first three months." Angus did provide a bit of explanation for that advice, not a lot, a bit.

Mission accomplished.

While meeting with me to discuss a proposal I had submitted for the casualty department, the director general of the hospital shared that an expert from the U.S had made similar suggestions in the past. "But I don't know where she went. The funding must have run out."

It is way early to draw conclusions. Observations must be qualified as "initial".
I am trying to place myself in the shoes of the Tanzanian physicians. The picture is skewed at a teaching hospital with hallways full of medical students, thanks in large part to the Touch Foundation.

But...what must it be like to be one of fifteen hundred m.d.s in a country of thirty seven million people? What must it be like to come to work every day to a place where babies die and surgery is canceled because the elevator is broken or the rains have soaked the surgery linen? What must it be like to wait for donations to equip your department or have an experienced nurse transferred from your understaffed unit to a more understaffed unit? Could I have a long term perspective and continue pushing hard to move three steps forward only to find myself two steps back soon thereafter?

As an outsider seeking to be an agent of change, my goal is to construct that mission of change in a manner that is least dependent on me.

Signs of hope abound in the people I have met such as orthopedic surgeon who approached me with his dream of creating a Trauma Center at BMC. That is where hope best resides, in this Tanzanian orthopedic surgeon, his general surgeon colleague and in the medical students, interns and residents filling the hallways and classrooms at BMC.

Workers

The intern grabbed a sheet which were in short supply as the stretchers and floor space were overflowing with silently bleeding people who were in a bus that overturned on a stormy night. He gently nudged the man laying there bleeding from the nose. There was no response as he whispered "rafiki" and nudged him again. So he placed the sheet over the man and smiled when the patient clumsily tried to move the sheet off his legs.

Words come suddenly and loudly from the medical officer. "Unaumwa nini?" asked briskly as the gray haired, beleaguered woman takes a seat on the stool. More words uttered singularly, with a playful sense of authority. Eventually a smile on her tired face appears slowly like a sunrise.

Handwritten crumpled paper is unfurled as the intern moves to the front of the room and takes a seat at the table. The room is full of white jackets. The white jackets belong to the medical students with notebooks open, prepared to record the presentation. Wound toilet, debridement and wound excision are defined concisely and explained clearly. The orthopedic surgeon, after a brief period of silence, says " Good job".

Worn down. The looks on the faces of the nurses who have worked the night shift. Always, I mean always, an engaging "Habari za nyumbani?" as I walk in each morning.

Sometimes what needs to happen, happens. Sometimes not.
The moments are lived fully. That allows for interruptions that rarely seem unwelcomed. I am unsure how the future is lived in here. I don't think it is counted on. The past seems quickly forgotten as well which can be good and bad.

The conversations here can seem like flying in a small plane through a thick, white cloud. You can't see where you are going or from whence you've come. It is pleasant for the moment actually but there is a foreboding sense of a need to see if you are about to hit the side of a mountain.

Nameless

A friend of mine wrote a blog about his experiences in a developing country health care setting and chose to change the names of the people and places. I think this was a good idea.

It was my original intent to attempt to share these experiences as objectively as possible so the stories would be about this place and its people and not me. I can't seem get out of the way. I also want people to know about BMC and the work that The Touch Foundation is doing in Tanzania. I can only hope that those who see through my eyes will forgive any inaccuracies or misconceptions that may result.

The life expectancy at birth in Tanzania is 46. A perfect storm of HIV, tuberculosis, child and maternal mortality and increasing unintentional injuries from road traffic accidents combine to account for this shortened life expectancy.

There are also cases like the 23 year old who presented to casualty complaining of chest tightness. His blood pressure was 205/120 and he could not lie down on the stretcher. He had crackly noise in all his lung fields but looked comfortable as he calmly shared his symptoms with me. He also had markedly pale eyelid linings. He said his stool color had been black for 2 days. Again the ICU was full and to clear the casualty stretcher, the young man was admitted to a ward. In the meantime, I followed him to x ray after I was told a portable film was not possible. I saw the fluffy white markings in his lungs that indicated fluid was spilling into his air spaces. I walked his tubes of blood to the lab and waited for the result which was a hemoglobin of 4.4(less than 33% of what it should be).Unlucky for him, his blood type was O negative and the hospital once again had no units of the rare(for Mwanza)blood type. I rode with him up the elevator and explained to the resident and charge nurse that he should not be here and to please take him to ICU when a bed cleared. Later that day I saw him sitting on an ICU stretcher eating rice and meat. We smiled at each other and waved a greeting. I relaxed and went home. This morning I went to ICU and discovered that this young man had died at midnight.

You know if it was ethically acceptable I would choose for you to know the names of each of these patients described in my postings. I think it adds to the sadness that they are the only nameless participants in the stories I share.